Paradox Punch

Man. I took two midol like an hour ago and they hit me hard. They have caffeine in them to help with fatigue and boy do they ever. I am so jittery I can barely type. I am trying to do homework and my mind is having a hard time focusing. I just want to jump up and exercise. I probably will do it just to burn off some of this fake energy. Next time I think I should just take one. Usually they don't affect me like this, but I haven't been drinking a lot of soda lately to cut out most of my caffeine. I seriously need to burn some of this off.

It is the first snow day of the season! The first snow day for us anyway. It's not really snowing outside so much as snow/sleet/unknown yuckiness at the moment. Jeremy did not have to go to work today because the school he works for is closed. I do not have class on Tuesdays, but OCCC is closed today anyhow, so if I had class I would not be going.

We did venture out for a little bit to the store after spending a hefty amount of time cracking out the car. The roads weren't too bad as long as you were driving slow. Since Jeremy and I both grew up in areas that saw some pretty hefty snowfall, this weather is kind of nostalgic. We talked about some of our memories of winters past. I remember shoveling out the driveway and being rewarded with hot cocoa when we were done. I also remember making forts out of the snow drifts that would pile up along the end of the lawn after the snow plows would come through. I think that was my favorite thing about the snow. Making underground tunnels in the snow was so much fun. Except when they collapsed, which they tended to do.

I really do like the snow. Ice and me are not really on speaking terms.

And now I've found out that I have no class on Wednesday and Jeremy has no work either. Let the snow days continue into a marathon!

I am almost done with my nurse externship in the ICU. I have one more week to go. I was hoping I'd like working in intensive care, but I wasn't sure I would. Turns out I really do like it. I like how in depth and focused we are on our patients and I like how we can really make a difference in whether someone lives or dies. Plus, I feel like we can really be there for the families when they need someone. I am going to talk to my clinical manager about working there once I'm done with school.

Had my first patient die on me this week. It wasn't  a surprise. His blood pressure was 50/30 the entire night before I came in to work and he was maxed out on medication. When it finally did happen it happened fast. His heart rate went from 70 to 20 to 0 in a matter of minutes. My nurse and I cleaned up the body, removed the tubes and IVs and got him ready for the family to view. It was a large Hispanic family and there must have been at least three generations of them in that little hospital room. 

I wasn't sure how seeing someone die would affect me. I've seen dead bodies before, but never watched someone die. I was surprisingly unaffected. I teared up and got sad watching the family mourn their loss, but other than that I just did what I had to do. Maybe its because I'm a Christian and I don't see death as the end, or maybe it's something else, but I found I could handle it without much trouble.

I liked Karen's idea of taking stock of the past year, so I ripped off her idea with a twist.

In 2008 I:

-Watched Jeremy graduate with his Master's degree
-Entered nursing school
-Celebrated five years of marriage
-Rediscovered the joy of reading for fun
-Moved into a new apartment (in the same apartment complex)
-Bought a new car
-Watched my Mom go in and out of the hospital
-Celebrated birthday number 1, 2, 6 and 5 of my nieces and nephews
-Got my RPSGT

In 2009 I am looking forward to:

-Graduating school
-Working as a nurse
-Getting pregnant
-Moving to a new apartment in a new complex
-Celebrating six years of marriage

Just wanted to drop a note and say Merry Christmas everyone! So far its been a nice and relaxing day for me. Opened gifts around 11 (much later than when I was a kid), made and ate some french toast, and now lazing around enjoying the day off. I got some great books from Jeremy as presents, including the new book from Juliet Marillier (my favorite author) that is set in the same realm as her Sevenwaters trilogy (my favorite trilogy). I hope everyone is having a nice day as well. Viva la Christmas!

I am now 3/4 of the way through my nursing program! I'm done with my finals and its on to Christmas break. Just one more 8 week semester in the spring and I'll be graduating. My pinning ceremony (aka graduation ceremony) will be on March 12, 2009 if anyone is interested in attending. I won't upset me if you don't come, but if you want to I'd be happy to have you there. It's good to plan ahead.

I got some much needed cleaning done around the apartment today since I had no homework or studying to worry about. Today was the first time I've vacuumed since we moved to the new place. That is how busy I've been.

Got my christmas shopping done for Jeremy. Now I just need to buy something for my parents and my sisters. I usually just buy one gift for each family to share since its cheaper. I will definitely be going with cheap this year since money will be a little tight till I go back to work full time. I was going to bake stuff for people and send it in these cute tins I bought on sale after Christmas last year, but the tins are not really made for shipping, so I would need to get another package to ship them inside of. Plus with the cost of shipping and baking ingredients I figure it will be cheaper overall to just buy something online and ship it. Maybe I can use those tins next year. Gotta use the tins.

I am so close to being done with my third semester. I have one final on Wednesday and then it is Christmas break time! I have my schedule all set up for working in the ICU, which begins next Monday, and I am looking forward to that.

On a different and unrelated note, Jeremy and I are still trying to decide on a first name for our baby if it is a boy. If its a girl, we have the name Cloey Ann picked out. Jeremy likes the name Cloey and the name Ann comes from my grandmother on my father's side that was an awesome woman. She died when I was in high school and Jeremy never got to meet her. I think they would have gotten along great if they had known each other. She was one of those rare people that are incredible strong and yet don't detest weakness in other people. I still miss her quite a bit.

So that is the name if we have a girl. If we have a boy we thought about going with the name Joseph Drey. We would like to continue on with the informal tradition that Jeremy has in his family of naming the first son with the initials JD. Jeremy's dad is Jerry Don and Jeremy is Jeremy Dan. So we need a first name starting with a J. We're kinda wishy washy on Joseph and not sure we really want to stick with it. The middle name will definitely be Drey. I know, most of America doesn't like that name. But they can suck it up. I like it, and I'm the one whose screaming this child out, so whether people like it or not that is what it is going to be. If anyone has any suggestions for a boy's name starting with J I am open to hearing them. We've already looked on websites and stuff for ideas but haven't found something we both really like. I know we still have plenty of time to pick one (see previous post with baby countdown), but it doesn't hurt to be proactive.

Time for a dose of that good old holiday spirit. What better way then with a meme?

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?

I guess both, though I swing more towards the dark side of hot chocolate. Definitely with whip cream.

2. Letter to Santa?

I don't remember ever writing one. Even as a kid.

3. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?

He wraps them up nicely. I have him well-trained.

4. Colored lights on your tree/house or white?

We have some red lights on the tree and some white lights. We don't bother decorating the outside of the partment.

5. Do you hang mistletoe?

Not since the time it tried to hang me.

6. When do you put your decorations up?

Pretty darn close to Thanksgiving. Usually the day after.

7. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?

This is a really hard one. I simply cannot pick a favorite. I love sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, turkey, ham, mixed vegetables with white sauce, and the list goes on. Can you tell it is close to lunch time?

8. Favorite holiday memory as a child:

My brother and I crawling out of our rooms at night to sneak under the tree and shake our presents.

9. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

This is kind of sad but I don't remember. Whatever happened was not some big traumatic thing for me.

10. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

Usually we open one because I have no self control when it comes to wrapped gifts.

11. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?

Ornaments. Lights. Red and silver. No tinsel or anything Pooka could eat and choke on.
12. Can you ice skate?

Pfft. Let's just say I've fallen on double-bladed skates.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

I can't really say just one. I've gotten a lot of great books over the years.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?

Jeremy has off work! It is great to see family and friends.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?

Vanilla pudding pie. Yummm. I should make one this year.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Going around and looking at houses decorated with christmas lights.

17. What tops your tree?

Nothing yet. We haven't found anything we like well enough.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?

There is something to be said about both.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?

Traditional-Dona nobis pacem      Contemporary-"Song for a Winter Night" by Gordon Lightfoot

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?

The cherry ones are yum. The others are yuck.

Since I may not post again before Thanksgiving, I hope everyone has a good one. Lots of love to you all.

Yeaaaaaah. There's a reason I am switching from the field of psychology to the field of nursing. I love learning about psychology. To me it is fascinating and it permeates all aspects of life and will affect any job you get in any field. But I DO NOT want to do straight psychology anymore. No counseling. No case management. And by God, no more freaking therapeutic communication till my eyes bleed.

Today was my first day of psychiatric clinicals. I was on the geriatric ward, which are mostly the patients with some form of dementia. A paranoid schizophrenic thrown in here or there, but mostly Alzheimers and friends. The patients were all very sweet, I had no problems, I got a lot of hugs when I left. It was not a bad day. It was just really boring. The only thing we wil get to do with these patients on this rotation is talk to them. We don't give any meds, do any assessments, dress any wounds, etc. All we get to do is talk to them. For 12 hours. Remember, these are patients with dementia. Do you know how many times I heard the same story about so and so's puppy and the time they drank from the toilet? I bet you can guess that it was more than once. And then there was the lady who had dementia nad diarrhea. That is one awful combination. I lost count of the times she told me about her loose bowel movements and missing the toilet.

I'm actually laughing to myself as I type this, because the day was bad in a funny kind of way and not the kind of way that anybody should be truly upset about. I'm going back tommorrow for another eight hours. It won't be so bad knowing that after tommorrow my thanksgiving break officially starts.

On a similar but different note, I think dementia is the scariest thing in the world. By the end of Stage 4 Alzheimer's, these poor people do not even recognize their loved ones. It is like every second of every day is completely new and scary to them. What kind of hell is that to live in? Give me cancer anyday over that.

I really hate getting my hair cut. I love the feeling of freshly trimmed hair when everything is said and done, but I hate the process. I usually end up putting it off as long as I can, until I'm sprouting too many dead ends to count. I average anywhere from 6 months to a year between cuts.

Today I bit the bullet and got my hair cut. I'm not going to post a picture for two reasons. One, I'm too lazy to go through downloading the picture off the digital camera and all that jazz. Two, its nothing spectacular. It''s a little shorter, with refreshed layers, but nothing too different from styles of the past. If you've seen me after a hair cut before, than chances are you can imagine what I look like now.

I just think it's kind of wierd because I love the feeling of having my hair played with. I try to get Jeremy to play with it when I can. I like it when friends style my hair. I just really don't like sitting in a chair with a stranger and getting my hair chopped off. I also hate the whole decision-making aspect of getting my hair cut. As much as I agonize over the right style for my face shape, they end up looking similar no matter what. Today I just told the stylist to do whatever she wanted basically, since she couldn't make it any worse. It turned out just fine. I think she might have ripped out a little too much hair with her giant curling brush, but it will eventually grow back.

I think I need a nap. Brain not working well.

Man, I really hate playing phone tag with people. One round is not so bad but I am like on the third or fourth round at this point and I'm about to flush my cell phone. I've even tried calling and leaving messages when I know I will have hours free afterwards to talk if they call back and still no success. I'm wondering if they are the kind of people who don't answer their phone on principal and just wait to see if you leave a voicemail. Well, a pox on them.

Today is a moving day for some friends of ours. I will be there to help, for all the good it will do them :) Hopefully they are taking a lot of lamps with them. I'm happy and excited for them that they are moving to a better place, but it is kind of sad to be left behind. Jeremy and I have until the end of May left on our lease and then we will be moving out of here as well. By then I will be working as a nurse and we can afford a nicer place. We will be moving to a different apartment in the Village, one that has not been flooded and damaged, and that will be a break from our neighbors upstairs that run dog races in their apartment during the day (I swear).

As of today I had my last final for my second semester in my nursing program. I am halfway through and it feels great! That is all.

Right now I am curled up on the couch under a very heavy blanket that my sister bought us for Christmas. There is something so satisfying and comforting about getting warm after being chilled from stepping out of the shower. Just one of the many reasons why fall is my favorite season.

I just finished studying for a final that I have today. Pray for me. This one is going to be a ball-buster.

I found out last weekish that I got accepted into the Integris Nurse Externship program. It means that I get to be paired with an RN over Christmas break, help out with their patients, and get paid while I do it. It won't be as much money as I make at the sleep lab, but since I will be working full time it will be more money coming in. Hopefully I can even work a daytime schedule and spend all my nights at home during that time. I still need to call and set up my schedule. At least I got my first choice as far as nursing area I wanted to do my externship in. I will be working in the ICU at Southwest Medical Center. I was hoping for Baptist since it's closer, but I can't afford to be too choosy.

Tis the season for pumpkin picking. The place we went last year was pretty good, so if I can remember where it was we might go there again. Anyone else up for rummaging through the pumpkin patches?

Once again I am trying to kick the caffeine habit. I've already made it several days without it and have even made it past the mind-splitting withdrawal heachaches. As far as drugs of choice go, caffeine really isn't that bad. I've just decided I really don't need all the empty calories I get in a day from drinking it. I think I'm also headed towards being diagnosed with diabetes mellitus in the near future, so any changes I can make to cut out unnecessary sugar now is good. I don't know how long I will last without drinking it, but it is worth a shot. The hardest part is not drinking it when I go out to eat. I am REALLY tempted to get some at that time. It does feel good to know I am doing something for myself that is good for my overall health and does require some discipline to maintain. Now if I can just make it all the way through school without it I should be set.

There will be not cutting out of the chocolate though. Don't care if it has caffeine or not. Some things are nonnegotiable.

Just a quick note. If you are planning on getting pregnant or are sexually active and could be surprised, it is important to get enough folic acid, or folate. A woman needs atleast 0.4 mg a day prior to getting pregnant and 0.6 mg a day while pregnant. Doing this can significantly reduce the risk of neural tube defects like spina bifida, anencephaly, and encephalocele. I didn't know this until doing my reading for our obstetrics clinical that starts tommorrow, so I figure there is a good chance that other people may not know it as well. Most people do not get a sufficient amount of folic acid in their diet, so taking a supplement might be a good idea. I take a multivitamin that has a daily dose of folic acid in it and if you take one chances are yours has it too, but its good to check the label.

 Have you ever been sick and felt yucky about yourself because you are? Sometimes its because your hygiene is less than sparkling because everytime you go to wash yourself you throw up again. Or you just feel icky because your stomach is giving you grief. The list goes on and on. I am feeling that right now. I am not feeling so great about myself because I have ringworm. Again. If you don't know what ringworm is, it is not as gross as it sounds. It is a fungal infection akin to athlete's foot. It can be spread in ways very similar to athlete's foot and the same over the counter treatment can be used for both. All I have is a little ring of red skin by my collarbone. It really is not a big deal, but it is bumming me out. I had ringworm twice as a kid, both times on my arm. I seem to be susceptible for some unknown reason. Anyway, today was one of those days I just wanted to bum around the house and not go out in public just a whole lot. Part of that is probably just being burned out on people a little. Jeremy's parents were in town for a week followed by a friend of Jeremy's that stayed with us for a couple of days. It was great to see everyone, but our schedules were changed quite a bit by the visits, and it will be nice to have a smidge of normal before starting back at school. So most everything is alright with my world, just feeling some ickiness.

 Yeah, so we bought a car today. Same as the one we own now, except blue. Why mess with a good thing. All in all financing wasn't too painful. Both Jeremy and I hate car shopping, but we really needed to get one. With his work schedule and my class/work schedule we just can't swing it with one anymore. As much as I hate another monetary committment, it will be so nice to come and go as I please without waiting on a ride or worry about being late in getting the car back to Jeremy. Like most things there's the good with the bad.

 I passed my RPSGT exam! Which means I am now a Registered Polysomnographic Technologist. Which really means a bit more money at my current job, probably a chunk more if I switched to another sleep center, and some more clout at work when I want to say things like "no." I can't imagine switching to another sleep center even if it would be more money because I doubt I can find another one so willing to work with my school schedule. And Integris has lots of nursing programs I am interested in. So I will be happy with the 5% raise I will get, and thank Jesus that I actually passed that neverending test. I guess I can take down my cookie fortune that is hanging up on the fridge and says, "You will pass a difficult test."

Jeremy's parents are in town and we both have the day free. I think we are going to go harass them to see if they are ready to do anything.

I  survived! I had my last final yesterday and now I am off for 3 weeks until the fall semester begins. Man, this was an intense semester. I think it  was the hardest semester I've ever had. It was even harder than that semester I took 22 hours at OC so I could graduate on time. The good news is that I finished with an A. I am really proud of that grade, considering what I had to do to get it.

I'm going to increase my hours at the sleep center some over my break, but not up to full time. There is a bunch of reading and other stuff I will need to get on top of for the fall. I should find out next week whether I passed my RPSGT exam I took last month. Don't ask me why it takes so long to score a computerized test. I couldn't tell you.

Jeremy and I made pizza for dinner last night. It was a lot of fun. I haven't made pizza since I lived at home with my parents, and Jeremy said he had never made it before. We didn't get all fancy. Just pillsbury crust, store bought sauce and grated cheese with pepperoni. It was good, even after I left it in the oven a few minutes too many. In the future I think I'll try making a stuffed crust pizza. You can never have too much cheese.

Today all I did was housework. It was freakily refreshing. I haven't had time to devote a chunk of the day to it in so long and some things were piling up. Jeremy is good about doing stuff around the house, but he only has so much time too. Cleaning is usually cathartic for me, especially scrubbing with antibacterial stuff. The only thing left on my todo list now is bathing Pooka. She is 2 weeks over due and she is a stinky girl.

We saw the new Batman movie last night. Just like the title promises, it is dark. If you are feeling down, I would not suggest seeing it until you perk up a bit. The acting was good and it beat the hell out of fluorescent lighting and villians on rollerblades. Heath Ledger is creepy as the Joker. He'll make anyone believe in personality disorders. Christian Bale acts well as usual, but gives all the good lines to Morgan Freeman. Did I mention it is a long movie? Cuz it is. Like nearly 3 hours long. To sum up: good movie, worth seeing, just make sure you have the emotional reserves to be pummeled for 3 hours.

 Finished my second week of nursing classes. It's crazy to think we are already a quarter of the way through the semester. We did a lot more stuff in clinical lab this week, like learning to set up a sterile field, wound cleaning and dressing, and nasopharyngeal and oropharyngeal suctioning. I really enjoy practicing clinical skills I know I will get to apply in the hospital. Monday is my first day of offsite clinicals. I will be going to a long term care facility, basically a nursing home, and working there for 10 hours. I will be assigned to one patient and provide care for them alongside their nurse. Some of my fellow classmates are freaking out a little over having a real patient, but it really doesn't bother me. I have patients every night at the sleeb lab, and do at least 2, sometimes 3 a night. This is not a big deal to me. And we only get to do basic care skills for the clients right now. They won't even let us administer medications yet. Not much to stress about, unless you get a real crotchety so and so, but I've been there before. I'm sure I'll get to bathe my client so I've got the thrill of a pruny vajayjay to look forward to. Gotta love starting out at the bottom.