Paradox Punch

Man. I took two midol like an hour ago and they hit me hard. They have caffeine in them to help with fatigue and boy do they ever. I am so jittery I can barely type. I am trying to do homework and my mind is having a hard time focusing. I just want to jump up and exercise. I probably will do it just to burn off some of this fake energy. Next time I think I should just take one. Usually they don't affect me like this, but I haven't been drinking a lot of soda lately to cut out most of my caffeine. I seriously need to burn some of this off.

It is the first snow day of the season! The first snow day for us anyway. It's not really snowing outside so much as snow/sleet/unknown yuckiness at the moment. Jeremy did not have to go to work today because the school he works for is closed. I do not have class on Tuesdays, but OCCC is closed today anyhow, so if I had class I would not be going.

We did venture out for a little bit to the store after spending a hefty amount of time cracking out the car. The roads weren't too bad as long as you were driving slow. Since Jeremy and I both grew up in areas that saw some pretty hefty snowfall, this weather is kind of nostalgic. We talked about some of our memories of winters past. I remember shoveling out the driveway and being rewarded with hot cocoa when we were done. I also remember making forts out of the snow drifts that would pile up along the end of the lawn after the snow plows would come through. I think that was my favorite thing about the snow. Making underground tunnels in the snow was so much fun. Except when they collapsed, which they tended to do.

I really do like the snow. Ice and me are not really on speaking terms.

And now I've found out that I have no class on Wednesday and Jeremy has no work either. Let the snow days continue into a marathon!

I am almost done with my nurse externship in the ICU. I have one more week to go. I was hoping I'd like working in intensive care, but I wasn't sure I would. Turns out I really do like it. I like how in depth and focused we are on our patients and I like how we can really make a difference in whether someone lives or dies. Plus, I feel like we can really be there for the families when they need someone. I am going to talk to my clinical manager about working there once I'm done with school.

Had my first patient die on me this week. It wasn't  a surprise. His blood pressure was 50/30 the entire night before I came in to work and he was maxed out on medication. When it finally did happen it happened fast. His heart rate went from 70 to 20 to 0 in a matter of minutes. My nurse and I cleaned up the body, removed the tubes and IVs and got him ready for the family to view. It was a large Hispanic family and there must have been at least three generations of them in that little hospital room. 

I wasn't sure how seeing someone die would affect me. I've seen dead bodies before, but never watched someone die. I was surprisingly unaffected. I teared up and got sad watching the family mourn their loss, but other than that I just did what I had to do. Maybe its because I'm a Christian and I don't see death as the end, or maybe it's something else, but I found I could handle it without much trouble.

I liked Karen's idea of taking stock of the past year, so I ripped off her idea with a twist.

In 2008 I:

-Watched Jeremy graduate with his Master's degree
-Entered nursing school
-Celebrated five years of marriage
-Rediscovered the joy of reading for fun
-Moved into a new apartment (in the same apartment complex)
-Bought a new car
-Watched my Mom go in and out of the hospital
-Celebrated birthday number 1, 2, 6 and 5 of my nieces and nephews
-Got my RPSGT

In 2009 I am looking forward to:

-Graduating school
-Working as a nurse
-Getting pregnant
-Moving to a new apartment in a new complex
-Celebrating six years of marriage

Just wanted to drop a note and say Merry Christmas everyone! So far its been a nice and relaxing day for me. Opened gifts around 11 (much later than when I was a kid), made and ate some french toast, and now lazing around enjoying the day off. I got some great books from Jeremy as presents, including the new book from Juliet Marillier (my favorite author) that is set in the same realm as her Sevenwaters trilogy (my favorite trilogy). I hope everyone is having a nice day as well. Viva la Christmas!

I am now 3/4 of the way through my nursing program! I'm done with my finals and its on to Christmas break. Just one more 8 week semester in the spring and I'll be graduating. My pinning ceremony (aka graduation ceremony) will be on March 12, 2009 if anyone is interested in attending. I won't upset me if you don't come, but if you want to I'd be happy to have you there. It's good to plan ahead.

I got some much needed cleaning done around the apartment today since I had no homework or studying to worry about. Today was the first time I've vacuumed since we moved to the new place. That is how busy I've been.

Got my christmas shopping done for Jeremy. Now I just need to buy something for my parents and my sisters. I usually just buy one gift for each family to share since its cheaper. I will definitely be going with cheap this year since money will be a little tight till I go back to work full time. I was going to bake stuff for people and send it in these cute tins I bought on sale after Christmas last year, but the tins are not really made for shipping, so I would need to get another package to ship them inside of. Plus with the cost of shipping and baking ingredients I figure it will be cheaper overall to just buy something online and ship it. Maybe I can use those tins next year. Gotta use the tins.

I am so close to being done with my third semester. I have one final on Wednesday and then it is Christmas break time! I have my schedule all set up for working in the ICU, which begins next Monday, and I am looking forward to that.

On a different and unrelated note, Jeremy and I are still trying to decide on a first name for our baby if it is a boy. If its a girl, we have the name Cloey Ann picked out. Jeremy likes the name Cloey and the name Ann comes from my grandmother on my father's side that was an awesome woman. She died when I was in high school and Jeremy never got to meet her. I think they would have gotten along great if they had known each other. She was one of those rare people that are incredible strong and yet don't detest weakness in other people. I still miss her quite a bit.

So that is the name if we have a girl. If we have a boy we thought about going with the name Joseph Drey. We would like to continue on with the informal tradition that Jeremy has in his family of naming the first son with the initials JD. Jeremy's dad is Jerry Don and Jeremy is Jeremy Dan. So we need a first name starting with a J. We're kinda wishy washy on Joseph and not sure we really want to stick with it. The middle name will definitely be Drey. I know, most of America doesn't like that name. But they can suck it up. I like it, and I'm the one whose screaming this child out, so whether people like it or not that is what it is going to be. If anyone has any suggestions for a boy's name starting with J I am open to hearing them. We've already looked on websites and stuff for ideas but haven't found something we both really like. I know we still have plenty of time to pick one (see previous post with baby countdown), but it doesn't hurt to be proactive.

Time for a dose of that good old holiday spirit. What better way then with a meme?

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?

I guess both, though I swing more towards the dark side of hot chocolate. Definitely with whip cream.

2. Letter to Santa?

I don't remember ever writing one. Even as a kid.

3. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?

He wraps them up nicely. I have him well-trained.

4. Colored lights on your tree/house or white?

We have some red lights on the tree and some white lights. We don't bother decorating the outside of the partment.

5. Do you hang mistletoe?

Not since the time it tried to hang me.

6. When do you put your decorations up?

Pretty darn close to Thanksgiving. Usually the day after.

7. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?

This is a really hard one. I simply cannot pick a favorite. I love sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, turkey, ham, mixed vegetables with white sauce, and the list goes on. Can you tell it is close to lunch time?

8. Favorite holiday memory as a child:

My brother and I crawling out of our rooms at night to sneak under the tree and shake our presents.

9. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

This is kind of sad but I don't remember. Whatever happened was not some big traumatic thing for me.

10. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

Usually we open one because I have no self control when it comes to wrapped gifts.

11. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?

Ornaments. Lights. Red and silver. No tinsel or anything Pooka could eat and choke on.
12. Can you ice skate?

Pfft. Let's just say I've fallen on double-bladed skates.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

I can't really say just one. I've gotten a lot of great books over the years.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you?

Jeremy has off work! It is great to see family and friends.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?

Vanilla pudding pie. Yummm. I should make one this year.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Going around and looking at houses decorated with christmas lights.

17. What tops your tree?

Nothing yet. We haven't found anything we like well enough.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving?

There is something to be said about both.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?

Traditional-Dona nobis pacem      Contemporary-"Song for a Winter Night" by Gordon Lightfoot

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?

The cherry ones are yum. The others are yuck.

Since I may not post again before Thanksgiving, I hope everyone has a good one. Lots of love to you all.

Yeaaaaaah. There's a reason I am switching from the field of psychology to the field of nursing. I love learning about psychology. To me it is fascinating and it permeates all aspects of life and will affect any job you get in any field. But I DO NOT want to do straight psychology anymore. No counseling. No case management. And by God, no more freaking therapeutic communication till my eyes bleed.

Today was my first day of psychiatric clinicals. I was on the geriatric ward, which are mostly the patients with some form of dementia. A paranoid schizophrenic thrown in here or there, but mostly Alzheimers and friends. The patients were all very sweet, I had no problems, I got a lot of hugs when I left. It was not a bad day. It was just really boring. The only thing we wil get to do with these patients on this rotation is talk to them. We don't give any meds, do any assessments, dress any wounds, etc. All we get to do is talk to them. For 12 hours. Remember, these are patients with dementia. Do you know how many times I heard the same story about so and so's puppy and the time they drank from the toilet? I bet you can guess that it was more than once. And then there was the lady who had dementia nad diarrhea. That is one awful combination. I lost count of the times she told me about her loose bowel movements and missing the toilet.

I'm actually laughing to myself as I type this, because the day was bad in a funny kind of way and not the kind of way that anybody should be truly upset about. I'm going back tommorrow for another eight hours. It won't be so bad knowing that after tommorrow my thanksgiving break officially starts.

On a similar but different note, I think dementia is the scariest thing in the world. By the end of Stage 4 Alzheimer's, these poor people do not even recognize their loved ones. It is like every second of every day is completely new and scary to them. What kind of hell is that to live in? Give me cancer anyday over that.

I really hate getting my hair cut. I love the feeling of freshly trimmed hair when everything is said and done, but I hate the process. I usually end up putting it off as long as I can, until I'm sprouting too many dead ends to count. I average anywhere from 6 months to a year between cuts.

Today I bit the bullet and got my hair cut. I'm not going to post a picture for two reasons. One, I'm too lazy to go through downloading the picture off the digital camera and all that jazz. Two, its nothing spectacular. It''s a little shorter, with refreshed layers, but nothing too different from styles of the past. If you've seen me after a hair cut before, than chances are you can imagine what I look like now.

I just think it's kind of wierd because I love the feeling of having my hair played with. I try to get Jeremy to play with it when I can. I like it when friends style my hair. I just really don't like sitting in a chair with a stranger and getting my hair chopped off. I also hate the whole decision-making aspect of getting my hair cut. As much as I agonize over the right style for my face shape, they end up looking similar no matter what. Today I just told the stylist to do whatever she wanted basically, since she couldn't make it any worse. It turned out just fine. I think she might have ripped out a little too much hair with her giant curling brush, but it will eventually grow back.

I think I need a nap. Brain not working well.

Man, I really hate playing phone tag with people. One round is not so bad but I am like on the third or fourth round at this point and I'm about to flush my cell phone. I've even tried calling and leaving messages when I know I will have hours free afterwards to talk if they call back and still no success. I'm wondering if they are the kind of people who don't answer their phone on principal and just wait to see if you leave a voicemail. Well, a pox on them.

Today is a moving day for some friends of ours. I will be there to help, for all the good it will do them :) Hopefully they are taking a lot of lamps with them. I'm happy and excited for them that they are moving to a better place, but it is kind of sad to be left behind. Jeremy and I have until the end of May left on our lease and then we will be moving out of here as well. By then I will be working as a nurse and we can afford a nicer place. We will be moving to a different apartment in the Village, one that has not been flooded and damaged, and that will be a break from our neighbors upstairs that run dog races in their apartment during the day (I swear).